How to Protect Your Marriage from Parental Erosion
This is a guest post by Jordan Richmond. If you want to guest post on this blog, email us here.
- “A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.” –Woody Allen
On most mornings my wife gets up with the boys (we have 3 under age four) while I get ready for work. We have coffee together - well actually - in the same vicinity would be a better way to describe it. The boys are usually making a mess, crying, or fighting. We take turns refereeing. It’s chaotic, stressful, and a ton of fun. We’re like many families.
But on a particular morning not long ago, Heather and I had a little extra time to reconnect. I could tell something was bothering her, so I tried asking some probing questions. Her responses surprised me. There were no major marital issues, but she was empty and overwhelmed. I appeared distant. We love each other, but it’s not always felt.
Here are a few takeaways from that morning.
1) Don’t assume everything is alright.
Marriages cannot be lived in the neutral zone. You are either growing together or apart. If you’re not sure, and if you haven’t asked the hard questions in a while, I can confidently say you’re drifting apart. Address the issues now.
2) Give physical touch with no strings attached.
You know what I mean guys. Here’s the catch - even if you are just being sweet, she may not know it. If other areas of your marriage are suffering, your well-intentioned physical touch may be perceived as having a hidden motive. Don’t let resentment creep into your marriage.
3) Have regular date nights.
I’m a recovering failure in this department. Have a date - just because. Don’t make it an add-on to something else. Get a sitter, don’t talk about the kids, and court your wife again. No one will do it for you and it’s your fault if it doesn’t happen. Do it this week.
What advice would you give to dads trying to protect their marriage?
This is a guest post by Jordan Richmond. Jordan is the worship pastor of Cayman Islands Baptist Church in beautiful Grand Cayman. Jordan is also a recording artist and family man. He and his wife Heather have been married 6 years and have 3 sons: Kal, Rees, and Zann. If you want to guest post on this blog, email us here. [Photo credit: Poppy Wright]