Subscribe by Email

Your email:

Sponsor: Contac

Dads don't have time to be sick! When you start to feel cold and flu symptoms, load up on fluids and treat yourself with an OTC medication.

Follow Us

Browse by Tag

The Father Factor: The Official Blog of National Fatherhood Initiative

Current Articles | RSS Feed RSS Feed

Just the Father Facts

  
  
  

Having worked at National Fatherhood Initiative for over 10 years now, I sometimes take for granted why our issue is so important. But every once in a while, I get a good reminder; this time it was from Father Facts, our research compilation on the causes and consequences of father absence.

ff6 resized 600I was flipping through the 90-page volume to locate some of the old print PSAs that we placed throughout the book. But as I flipped, I was once again struck by the boatload (that is the scientific term) of data on why fathers matter to children.

Since 1995, when we published the first edition of Father Facts on one side of a sheet of paper, we have cited research from thousands of academic and government studies that show, without any doubt that on average fathers play a unique and irreplaceable role in their children’s lives, and that children do best, on average, when their mother and father are married to each other. If you have a problem with that statement, I will put it another way: there is no evidence that growing up in a fatherless home, on average, confers any benefits whatsoever on children. If you have access to such evidence from a reliable academic source, please send it to us. 

If we had this much conclusive data on any other topic, we would start a multi-billion dollar campaign to “save our children.” Think of what we’ve done with smoking. Not everyone who smokes dies of lung cancer or heart disease. But because we have research that shows the increased risks smokers face, we have deemed smoking unhealthy (we are comfortable generalizing based on the data) and spend billions to get people to quit or never start.

I hope we can get to the same point when it comes to family structure. Despite the fact that we have 30-plus years of social science research that shows the clear risks children face when they grow up in father-absent homes, there are still debates about how important dads really are. For some reason, naysayers always point out the exceptions – “I know someone who grew up without a father, and she is fine. Therefore, fathers are not important.”

Would we do this with smoking? Would anyone say, “I knew someone who smoked her whole life and lived to age 85 and died of natural causes. So, smoking is not unhealthy.” No one would say that, because, again, it is about risk. The research helps us understand the risk, and we take action to reduce it.

So, why is it different with fatherhood? Why do people always point out the exceptions and conclude that we should base our behavior on the exceptions rather than on the rule?

Take this article that was just published in the New York Times denying that there is any problem with the institution of single motherhood. The thing that frightens me most is the attitude that decades of social science research can be dismissed in favor of someone’s “gut feeling.” How do we typically characterize people who dismiss academic evidence about climate change? And how about smoking… what would you think of someone who denied the research on smoking because they didn’t “feel” like smoking was unhealthy? The author of the Times piece, Katie Roiphe, takes issue with a researcher from Princeton University. So, her opinion is more reliable than Princeton University research? What nerve.

She also commits the fallacy of reducing fatherhood to money. She implies that the only thing missing in father-absent homes is a second income. Is that the only thing children without dads are missing out on? Money? Dads don’t contribute anything else to their children? Nonsense.

If you have some ideas about why folks act in this irrational way around the “family structure issue” please share them.

Is it because telling men they should be good fathers and telling women they should enable good fathering is more “personal” than telling them not to smoke? Is it because people have more control over whether or not they choose to smoke than whether or not they raise their children in a two-parent home?

What do you think?

Learn more about Father Facts and the research on families and fatherhood.

Comments

Great article, and as stated, “it is without any doubt that on average fathers play a unique and irreplaceable role in their children’s lives, and that children do best, on average, when their mother and father are married to each other.” Growing up as a young man, I always thought that my father being out of the picture was probably the best thing that ever happened. My reason for thinking this way was because I knew just how macho my father was and how he didn't believe in searching for the best education possible. I don't believe to this day that he would have allowed my sisters to attend or move away to college. My father to this day believes that some of the things that I remember hearing and seeing as a 3-5 year old, are because my mother must have told me. He doesn’t believe that a young child could have those things carved in their brain (memory). What I've tried to make him understand… is that my mother has never spoken badly about him. My mother was one who would say "son, don't say that, he is your father, whether you like it or not". When my father left us, I remember my mother struggling, but she never gave up. She worked hard in order to do her best, to pay for the best education she could. Her hard work and dedication to us paid off. That led everyone to receive a college degree and one to Harvard Law. However, my point is that although at some part of my life I felt that. I now as a father of an 8, 10 and 14 year old am in search for what I missed because I know something is missing. I just can’t seem to figure it out. As a matter of fact, one thing I know is missing is a better understanding on how to best communicate and raise my teenage son. I remember how hard my mom was with me in order to keep me straight and although it worked, I know there is a better way. 
 
One thing I know my father was able to teach me through this entire ordeal of not being there for us is, to make sure that I am always there for my children regardless of my relationship with my wife. This is in big part because of his absence in my life as a child. I thank God for giving me the lovely wife that I have. We dated for 10 years straight before getting married and have now been married for 17 years which really is like 27 years (and I’m currently 43 years young) even though we didn’t live together for the first 10 years while dating. 
 
I’m not perfect and I have a lot to learn still, but I’ve always been there for my 3 children since their birth. As a matter of fact I have been fortunate enough to be able to take about 4-6 weeks off of work to bond with them when they were born. Fathers in fact do make a difference and I am a strong believer in that. What I left out that also made a difference for me, is that I had many good male figures growing up. One of those male figures was my grandfather who taught me how to be a responsible man, both at home and at work. I also had 5 uncles around me while growing up who I was around on a regular basis. 
 
 
 
Fathers, get involved and be there for your children regardless of the obstacles that may be put in your way. A man can divorce his wife, but never his children. Remember, your daughter will look for a man like you. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Posted @ Thursday, August 16, 2012 11:52 AM by Joe
Joe, 
Thanks for the thoughtful response. Sounds like there is a legacy of responsible fatherhood in your family. 
Vince
Posted @ Thursday, August 16, 2012 3:49 PM by Vincent DiCaro
Thanks a million times for this great article and comment. As an aspiring dad, I'm getting well grounded with all these valuable contributions. I may not have the experiences of a dad but I've been a child before now and agree with everything you've said. Keep up with the good work. Thanks. 
Posted @ Friday, August 17, 2012 4:14 AM by Nyuibe
Post Comment
Name
 *
Email
 *
Website (optional)
Comment
 *

Allowed tags: <a> link, <b> bold, <i> italics