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The Father Factor: The Official Blog of National Fatherhood Initiative

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5 Ways to be a Horrible Dad

  
  
  

Let’s face it; connecting with your child is difficult. It’s much easier to be a horrible dad. NFI is here to help you be the best at being horrible. Here are five tried and true ways to be a horrible father to your children.

horrible dad

Please share your ideas of how to be a horrible dad in the comment section.

1) The Horrible Dad ALWAYS Works Late. 

There are folks who say, “Meals are the perfect time to connect with family.” Well, not if your goal is to be a horrible father. Forget mealtimes and stay late at work. Typically, the horrible dad is great “yes man.” Your boss needs something? Great, you can do it—you’re a horrible dad to your children. There’s nothing of importance at home for you. Heck, spend time after work socializing with old friends and colleagues. Because what’s more important than connecting with coworkers you already see all day for five days per week?! Answer: nothing. Nothing is more important for you, horrible dad.

2) The Horrible Dad Talks About Himself ALL the Time.
If you end up making it home before 8pm, be sure you talk to your kids and spouse about your day at work and never ask your family about their day. There’s so much that can be learned about dad during family mealtime. You filed a TPS report today? Awesome. Your family really cares and wants to know every detail. You can also use dinner to argue with all family members present. Trust us, it’s what horrible dads do, and you can do it too! Your kids can learn so many things from you about selfishness at mealtime, which they can carry into adulthood.

3) The Horrible Dad Thinks READING to His Child is a CHORE.

Reading to your kids takes time and effort. The horrible father need not worry about this problem. 
From dads with younger kids to dads with college-aged kids, reading should NOT be a major part of the horrible dad’s life. Wouldn’t it be great for your kids to think of their dad as a lover of books?! Nope, says the horrible dad. Imagine talking with your high school or university student about a character from the same book they are reading—because you’re reading it with them! “Ha, that’s hilarious,” thinks the horrible dad!

4) The Horrible Dad ONLY Cares About His Interests.
You have a daughter who likes playing with Barbie dolls? Well, you think Barbie dolls are silly so you can’t spend time playing with them. The horrible dad only cares about what he likes. From watching his favorite movies and TV shows, you don’t waste time on something you don’t like. Be intentional about hating whatever your kids like. Have a son who plays with blocks? Boring. You get extra points for only talking about things that interest you at the dinner table.

5) The Horrible Dad NEVER Spends One-On-One Time with His Kids.
Listen up, dads. To be a truly horrible dad, be sure you NEVER connect one-on-one with your children. Good dads have reported that this is the best way to connect with their children. The horrible dad doesn’t bother taking his son or daughter out for ice cream. Taking a walk to discuss life with your teen? Who has time for that when you could be practicing your golf swing or working late?! Again, just another thing the horrible dad doesn’t have to think about.

What’s one thing you did recently to be a “horrible dad”?

 

new year new dad

Be the BEST DAD you can be in 2013 by connecting with other dads and sharing your tips for starting the year right. You can record a video, share a picture, or post a comment on this blog, Facebook or Twitter @TheFatherFactor. Use #NewYearNewDad13 so we see your message!

photo credit: dontshoot.me!

Comments

This is a good checklist, I think I will print it out for my son who is about to become a father for the first time
Posted @ Tuesday, January 22, 2013 8:47 PM by Stephen Carnell
A horrible dad also makes poor financial decisions. Not being 'that guy' means providing for present day and planning for the future.
Posted @ Wednesday, January 23, 2013 10:16 AM by Fred
Stephen, Thanks for reading! Congrats and best of luch for your son! Let us know what we can help you with.
Posted @ Wednesday, January 23, 2013 2:24 PM by Ryan Sanders
Fred, 
 
You are so right. I'm adding finances to my list! Thanks for reading and for your thoughtful comment!
Posted @ Wednesday, January 23, 2013 2:25 PM by Ryan Sanders
This is a horrible message. Can you imagine the outcry if it says 5 ways to be a horrible mom. It should have said, 5 ways to be a great dad. Show the positive and not the negative. 
 
Also many a good dad is prevented from being so by our horrible federal and state laws with their incentives to keep dads out of their kids lives
Posted @ Wednesday, January 23, 2013 5:16 PM by Peter hill
Great list... BUT WHY NOT A LIST OF HORRIBLE MOTHERS TOO? 
 
Posted @ Thursday, January 24, 2013 4:29 AM by PartTimeParent
What if your work schedule is a late work schedule in general? 3 pm to 1:30am. I'm a fairly new dad, 6 months ago we had our first baby boy. The rest of the checklist outdoes apply to me, but i'm the soul provider for my family and unfortunately that includes working late b/c its my regular schedule.
Posted @ Wednesday, February 20, 2013 10:56 AM by Joe
Thanks for the comment and for reading, Joe. I think that you can decipher from my point the idea. I'm clear to point out the dad I'm talking about here is the dad who ALWAYS works late -- and even by late -- I'm thinking the dad who misses everything. If it's not connecting over dinner, then connect over something else. But the point is the same -- connect! Only you can discern whether you're working to pay the bills or you're working too much. There's a big difference. The point? Work as hard as you can, but be sure that you work hard at connecting with your kids too. Don't use work as an excuse! Cool?
Posted @ Wednesday, February 20, 2013 11:01 AM by Ryan Sanders
I'm going to forwardvthis artical to fathers in our church.so true made me think on how to improve my relationship with my sons
Posted @ Wednesday, February 20, 2013 12:31 PM by Andre yarde
The horrible dad works late.....Are you serious? Would you ever blame a mother who worked late to put food on the table? 
Dads have to work late to put food on the table and should not be punished or told they are horrible for doing so.  
Otherwise a decent list.
Posted @ Wednesday, May 15, 2013 6:04 PM by Matt
I like this site for its positive take on fatherhood. I think a lot of people could easily make their own "how to be horrible" list, but our culture needs a positive realization of the new kind of father. I've seen teachers so fixated on how their dad's were bad, that they think that all dads must be bad. The "Horrible dad" concept isn't new, as I witness every day as a stepmom. Women accept that men are just abusive, angry, and even useless, and those conceptions permeate our society on a multitude of levels. But the concept of a Good Dad is what we need to perpetuate and advertise from whatever source possible, so that we can stop unfair custody allotments in the court and increase the involvement of fit, willing, and able fathers in their children's lives.
Posted @ Wednesday, May 15, 2013 6:06 PM by Ashley
Hi Matt, thanks for reading and commenting. I am very serious. Please reread: 1) The Horrible Dad ALWAYS Works Late. Be sure you see the word "ALWAYS". I've met plenty of dads who seem to work "all" the time and happen to "always" work late. Will a dad, or mom, have to work late sometimes? Sure. But I have a follow-up question for your comment, "Dads have to work late to put food on the table.." Really? How often? If a dad is always working late -- then odds are -- he's not a great dad. I think that's honest. Do you disagree with me?
Posted @ Thursday, May 16, 2013 10:53 AM by Ryan Sanders
Thanks Ashley. We really appreciate you taking the time to read our posts and comment. Thank you for seeing what we are trying to do. We want to encourage involved, responsible and committed fatherhood. Sometimes, that takes being honest and talking about what dads who aren't great actually do! Thanks so much. Let us know how we can help you!
Posted @ Thursday, May 16, 2013 10:56 AM by Ryan Sanders
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